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Slave (Cat Star Chronicles #1) by Cheryl Brooks

09 Sep

Slave (Cat Star Chronicles, #1)Slave by Cheryl Brooks

My rating: 2 of 5 star

  • SPOILER ALERT !
  • REFERENCE TO GENITALIA ALERT!
  • SNARK ALERT!
  • DISCLAIMER: By continuing to read the following review you are acknowledging that the previous statements, written in a helpful red, have not warned you off so your on your own buddy!

Oh boy, I did not know how to write this review without turning anyone off on the book. Honestly, this was not a bad read at all. In fact, for a Romance-Erotica with a title like Slave, it was fairly detail-rich and the world building well thought out.

The heroine had your typical “I’m plain and must sacrifice my life to find my gorgeous sister because everything’s my fault and I don’t deserve sex” thing going on. (All the romance readers just sighed and nodded their heads.) She was with her younger sister when her sister was kidnapped and sold into slavery. She spends the next six years of her life trying to find her and rescue her no matter the cost. Having spent her life in the shadow of her beautiful sister Jacinth has no self-esteem whatsoever. (My favorite part of the story is when she finally finds her sister and she looks like absolute crap, aged and worn out from the slavery. ( LMAO, talk about catty….pun intended)
The hero, well….. this is where writing this review becomes painful. Sooooo I’m gonna just give it to ya in business-like bullets;

  • He is a near-extinct feline/humanoid species but, thankfully, the only feline qualities you notice right away are the tendency to purr and the eyes. Oh, and of course, his name is Cat.
  • He had long black hair to his waist…made up of soft, spiraling curls…lol. I kept thinking of Paul Stanley from KISS and I am not attracted to him at all. It was distracting and the song Beth was stuck in my freaking head the whole time.
  • No more than an IQ of 80 and experiencing only brief bursts of testosterone, this guy was a walking FUBAR waiting to happen. I like my heroes tough, intelligent and fairly dominant so although this is a matter of personal taste, many will read and leave unsatisfied. (Double entendre intended.)

 Those weak of stomach and shy of libido, please skip the next paragraph!

  • A penis, large of course, with a ruffle-like edging around the head that secreted copious amounts of fluid and undulated. Freaking UNDULATED! Really? Which made me cringe whenever they had sex or someone noticed it,(because the fashion where they are requires men to wear pants with the crotch cut out and his business on display. Apparently if they weren’t easily available for, um, therapeutically related purposes the feline dudes became war-like. Oh no! I kept picturing a flesh-tone sea cucumber or something of the sort…just threw up in my mouth a little..excuse me.

Ummm, this book got some good reviews, and I read it quite quickly and was entertained for the most part but I think its just a matter of taste. I didn’t really like it when the author messed with the penis. The penis is fine on its own. If ya want to depict a man who is humanoid but not human, change his eye, skin color, nose, ears..whatever. But please god dont mess with his junk.

Again, these are my issues. I’m comfy with my issues. Downright cozy with ’em.

Since i’ve already outed myself as an uptight, snobbish bitch I may as well add one more thing; the heroines’ inner-monologue NEVER stops, EVER. There are pages of her self-analyzing…uhg. I do that enough myself, I don’t want to read someone else doing it. A little self-monologue goes a long way.

Just saying....

View all my reviews

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5 Comments

Posted by on September 9, 2011 in Erotica, Sci Fi Romance

 

5 responses to “Slave (Cat Star Chronicles #1) by Cheryl Brooks

  1. Magda

    September 10, 2011 at 7:58 am

    1st – HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAA
    I couldn’t make it through this book. The penis talk, the talk about selling his “seed”, the never ending inner monologue, her never funny references to Earth terms. I was extremely surprised to learn it was a series!
    BTW, the sea cucumber pic is genius!

     
  2. Pam Gordon

    September 10, 2011 at 9:19 am

    I spit out my coffee reading this during my AM perusal…and that picture makes me squirm in my jammies and not in a good way..None-the-less, I may read, which is the point..

     
  3. novelopinion

    September 10, 2011 at 5:13 pm

    I love you guys from DDLF. No where can I find a more daring group of smart readers!

     
  4. Kendall Grey

    September 14, 2011 at 10:17 am

    This may be the funniest book review I’ve read in a while. The sea cucumber penis — OMG! I agree, don’t mess with a man’s junk. Frankly, I can’t read “shifter” type books for this reason. My mind keeps having an irrational idea that a human is having sex with an animal, even though it’s not *really* an animal. Sorry, but it just creeps me out.

    Thank you for this highly entertaining review!

     
  5. novelopinion

    September 14, 2011 at 10:54 am

    Thanks Kendell! It was fun to just go with it. There was no way this review could be done seriiously.

     

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